One of the ways to better understand an artist is to dissect their discography. One of my favorite discographies to dig into the deeper meanings of is that of Kendrick Lamar. Kendrick is an artist that you can pick apart every single song he releases, every minute detail of music videos and performances, and find layers of hidden meanings and artistry. Nothing he does is unintentional. Everything has meaning, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first glance.
When listening to his latest album, GNX, his song “man at the garden” really stuck out to me. It was a song that got overlooked by a lot of listeners upon first listen, but I couldn’t get it out of my head.
To me, “man at the garden” has two different meanings and which way you interpret it is very telling of what mindset you hold in life. One comes from a more egotistical place that is sometimes experienced as we discover ourselves and figure out our place in the world. The other comes from a more healed place that wouldn’t be possible without experiencing that egotistical mindset. When you can learn about the art of detachment to physical things, it creates space for a deeper appreciation of the non-tangible. In a way, both mindsets counterbalance the other but one comes from a more positive place in life while the other holds more negative energy. When in that positive headspace, there’s a deeper appreciation for the negative one because it allows us to understand ourselves better.
Let’s start with my first and most straightforward interpretation.
Recognizing how much work goes on behind the scenes to make a dream a reality and finally seeing it all come to fruition, all of the awards and accolades, is a moment that most of us aim for in life. It’s easy to feel angry and defensive at the idea that anyone might think I don’t deserve any of it. All of the blood, sweat, and tears I put into this means I deserve this. My humility means I deserve it. I deserve all of this and more, anything that is great I deserve for it to be mine.
Let’s look at lyrics like, “More money, more power, more freedom, everything Heaven allowed us, I deserve it all,” and “I’m wakin’ up at 6:00 a.m., six miles a day, conditioning my wind, I said I deserve it all.”
Those two lines alone point out all of the things that people feel they deserve with fame and what he, himself, has accomplished and worked towards to be able to feel that way. He also has lines that highlight his personal accomplishments such as having a world renowned name and donating money to his community.
This is the kind of mindset that stems from the ego and usually is rooted in an unhealthy attachment to the material world. It’s not that all of it is negative. There is truth in the foundation of it. He has worked hard and he does good deeds. But feeling like you deserve it all comes from a place that 's mixed with unhealed parts of yourself that make the temptation of the negative sides of fame easy to fall for. It’s living in a headspace where you feel like life owes you something, as if there aren’t eight billion more people on the planet thinking the same thing.
Now for the second interpretation.
That despite the hard work, I still am not owed everything. Maybe I won some awards and got recognition, but I’m still just me. I need to recognize that despite the hard work, this doesn’t put me above anyone else. I am still not perfect. People need to recognize that I am not a saint. I’m still the same me, just with an award in hand. Maybe more grown but still me. There are people and places and experiences that made me, I need to be grateful for every one of those. They are the reason I do this. And for anyone in this same field as me, who are demanding success and accolades, what makes you think you deserve them?
Towards the end of the song, the instrumental builds in intensity and he has lines that say “I’m crashin’ out right now, no one’s safe with me,” and “Dangerously, nothin’ changed with me, still got pain in me, flip a coin, want the shameless me or the famous me?”
That, to me, shows the mental toll that unhealed trauma and pressure from success can do to a person. When trauma is rooted deep enough, there’s a type of anger that never fully fades and can be triggered. There’s also an unspoken need to dilute oneself to fit a more socially acceptable mold, especially when in the public eye. Kendrick seems to be reminding people that we only see a version of people we idolize and at the end of the day, even celebrities are human and flawed. I think Kendrick is also showing that despite all of the growth he’s been through, there are still old versions of himself that exist within him. We are all made up of the past versions of ourselves that collectively create the current versions of who we are.
This type of mindset comes from a healthier place in life where a lot of healing has probably taken place and you don’t feel the need to place your self-worth and self-confidence on the material things in life or achievements. There’s an understanding of the importance of detachment.
Kendrick is an artist that has amassed a lot of popularity and respect from not just his fanbase, but a good percentage of everyday people who come across his music and performances. When people listen to the lyrics and understand the depths of the performances, they spot the hard work and greatness behind it all. Despite the fame and recognition, he has hinted at not wanting people to idolize him, reminding his listeners that he is a flawed person who makes art. On his album Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, the opening line to the song “Savior” states, “Kendrick made you think about it, but he is not your savior.” And if you do a complete listen through of that album, it’s a vulnerable showcase of his healing journey by laying out all of his flaws for the world to see. With that in mind, and with GNX being a more healed reiteration of that, the song “man at the garden” really brings us back to that healing journey. Being able to recognize and come to terms with his flaws but also recognizing our own hard work that led him to a better place.
And somehow I genuinely believe that Kendrick means both of these meanings at the same time because it almost feels like he’s at war with himself in this song. It feels like a battle between pride and humility which is a huge theme in Kendrick’s albums, DAMN and Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, and it seems he carried this over into GNX.
The second interpretation is so subtle but what gave it away for me wasn’t the solemn instrumental setting the tone of the message. It wasn’t the final line of, “Tell me why you think you deserve the greatest of all time,” which I think some could interpret as antagonizing others in his field into answering why they think they deserve any of it more than him. I actually took note of the way that he switches from saying “I deserve it all” with so much vehemence like he believes it or even trying to convince himself, to saying “I deserve it all” with a huff of unamused laughter that has no negative intent, purely wisdom. It’s tough to describe but it’s the same way that wiser adults will interact with a naive child when they know they won’t understand a life lesson for some time and all they can do is sit back and watch them figure it out. His follow-up “I deserve it all” is like him telling an unhealed person that they have the definition of success all wrong but he just has to let them chase your definition of success and figure it out.
There’s also a layer of not letting other people define your success for you which can be noted with his line about his ancestors sending him to this life to inspire the youth to achieve their goals and do better than those who came before them. And then at the very end he mentions not agreeing with people who aren’t close to him speaking on his career journey as if they have any right to have an opinion when they haven’t lived this journey with him.
Maybe I’m reading too deeply into it all but that was how I interpreted this song when I listened to it. I think Kendrick was having a conversation between the wiser part of himself and his Ego, and it can easily be applied to anyone with the mindset of chasing physical rewards for their work.
Overall, it’s the idea that the end goal doesn’t need to be awards and recognition when the real win is the journey full of memories along the way and the people we connect with wherever we go, of remembering where you came from to stay grounded while still paying ode to your successes and growths, that is the poetically spoken story of this song.
Discussion